Heaven is under my mother's feet

In my opinion every day is a mother's day. A mother deserves love and respect every day because she cares for her family every day every minute. Her love for her children is unconditional. A lot of mothers take care of their children 24/7. Many support their children all alone.Well, what else does a mother do for her family? The list is too long to describe here in a blog.

Do all mothers receive the love and care, they deserve? Specially when they need it in their older age? Well, I think some do and some don't. Some are lucky enough to have a caring family all the time while others wait for certain days of year to be remembered by their families. They wait long very long,to spend some happy moments with their loved ones.

Every Mother's Day, I think of the lady that I saw sitting on the couch in the lobby of our apartment building.That was a few years ago when I was coming back home with my family after spending a happy ''Mother's Day" at Botanic Garden of Chicago and enjoying a family dinner at my favorite restaurant.When we were in the lobby of the apartment building, there she was sitting all alone looking very sad. She was also a  tenant in the complex and we often smiled and said hello to each other whenever we saw each other in the elevator or lobby, but never got to talk more then that before. But that day she spoke for the first time.

"Did you had a good mother's day''? she asked me.

''Oh, yes,'' I said happily, but then realized that she looked sad . ''What about you?" I asked her. She told me that her children live in other states.I tried to comfort her by saying that ''At least they called you didn't they?"

''Yes, but its not the same '', she replied back.A year later she told me she was moving to live closer to her children. I was happy for her because I couldn't forget her sadness on that Mothers Day.

I also live far away from my mother.Some times I miss her so much that I just want to fly back to Pakistan to see her .But of course it's not that easy. I have to plan ahead and wait for summer when school is over and my kids can go, too. Its an expensive trip and I can't take it every summer. But whenever we do go, memories of those happy moments become part of my life which keeps me going for a while.

Every religion teaches respects for parents and in Islam too, respect for parents, especially mothers, is so important that there is a Hadith (saying) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) that "Heaven is under a mother's feet." That says it all, how much a mother matters. And yes I believe in that strongly because that's truly what all mothers deserve.

Hunger in America

When talking about hunger, a lot of people might think it exists only in African or some Asian countries. But its a fact that it exists right here in U.S. too. I was shocked to find out that according to US department of agriculture more than 16 million children face hunger at some point in the year. More then 35 % of people pick between food and medical care.

This is also a fact that almost 1 in 4 children face hunger in U.S. Not getting enough food has a great effect in children. It causes iron deficiency , poor academic results, developmental delays and weaker immune systems. It is also associated with depression in school age children.

As a mother, it hurts me a lot to think that lots of children go to bed hungry. On the other hand a lot of food gets wasted at home and restaurants. At my home too sometimes we have left overs because kids would eat something else, and the food that I prepared might go in the refrigerator that nobody wants to eat next day. In Pakistan, in this kind of situation, I always gave it to needy people and food never got wasted. But here in U.S. I don't have access to needy people and freshly prepared home meals go in the garbage.
I remember that ever day many moms in Pakistan gave some of the food they prepared to poor people before setting the table for their own family. That is because they see hungry people in streets often, and there are no food pantries, so people help poor people by giving them personally some food, clothes or money.

Here in America, I suggest that if we make a habit of buying one extra item of food each time we go grocery shopping, and give it to a food pantry might help a lot of needy people . I am sure moms can really make a difference because most of the time they are the ones who go grocery shopping.

Pakistani food

Some of the Pakistani food that I love is 'Biryani ,' Chicken Tikka', and Spinach. 'Biryani' is rice cooked with any kind of meat like chicken, mutton or beef. I prefer beef because it gives the rice a stronger flavor. We use a lot of spices, for example, salt, red pepper, cumin seeds, coriander and some other spices.

'Chicken tikka ' is marinated pieces of chicken baked in oven or fried over stove. Spinach is my favorite vegetable, and I like it no matter how it is prepared, Pakistani people make it different ways and I love it.

There are some traditional sweets that we use for special occasions like marriages, engagements, announcement of a baby's birth or any other happy occasion. People usually sent 'Laddu' (a special kind of sweet) to friends and family.

Some of the special Pakistani snacks are Cholai chaat (spicy chickpeas) ,'Samosa' (minced beef or potatoes filled in egg role sheets) and Dahi bhallai' (Round puffs made with chick pea powder and dipped in yogurt).

Here in Chicago, Devon street is famous for traditional Pakistani food, so when ever we want a taste of our own country, we go to Devon street and every thing, from traditional Pakistani clothes to traditional Pakistani food is there to satisfy us.

Spring break

Finally spring break is over and children are back in school. It was a busy week. All we did was cleaning and cooking. My kids were asking to invite friends over. I said ,'Well you can, but only if you clean up your closets and rooms really good."

So they did it and I arranged a party for them and invited my friends over, too. Most of my friends have kids same age as my kids. The kids play together while we mothers prepared our traditional Pakistani food while chatting.It was fun having them over.

I also made doctors appointment and took the kids to their doctor for their physical check up for the coming school year. It is interesting that in Pakistan we don't have to do that in order to send kids to school, but I think its better to have them checked by a doctor even if they are not sick.

The weather was very nice during the whole spring break, but in the end, we had a rain storm. It is unusually warm for this time of period, and I like it because we have usually warm weather in Pakistan and I am used to it.

Pakistani Nicknames

Nick names are very common in Pakistan. In almost every home in Pakistan people are called by their nick names.

Their are different reasons to nickname people in Pakistan. For example, older people are nicknamed for respect. Usually younger people don't call their older siblings and other relatives by their real names, so they call them by a nickname. Some very common nicknames for an older sister are 'Baji' and 'appa'. An older brother is usually called 'Bhai' or bhaijan'.

Younger people like children are nicked named, too. They have cute names which reflects their personalities. I call my youngest ' bul bul'. Bul bul is a bird with a sweet voice. I call him 'bul bul' because he tweets like a bird all the time.

In some parts of Pakistan, brides are given a nickname after they join their new family. I remember when I got married and joined my husband's family. All the youngsters of his family gathered round me and asked me what name would I like for them to call me. They suggested a few names, and I picked one. Now they call me by that, and I am so used to that name that it seems almost like my real name.

Becoming a U.S citizen.

I got my U.S citizenship in 2002. I remember, it was an exciting day. I was excited to be a U.S citizen, but at the same I was sad to lose my Pakistani citizenship. You can't have dual citizenship because it is against American law.

I decided to become a U.S citizen because my husband and my children were already citizens and we would probably live in the U.S for the rest of our lives. In my heart , I think of myself as a citizen of both Pakistan and America. It seemed a little bit weird to visit my country on a visa after becoming a U.S citizen. Because visiting my own country where I lived for most of my life , as a foreigner was kind of painful. I wish we could keep both citizenships at the same time as some other countries allow that. I will be faithful to Pakistan and America both.

Coming to America

I moved to America from Pakistan about ten years ago. I still remember that day. I had mixed emotions. I was sad to leave my country and family behind but I was also excited to start a new life with my husband and children in USA.

When I moved to USA, it took me some time to get used to American accent. I knew a little bit of English, but I was not used to American accent. That is why it was hard to communicate. I couldn't understand the news even though I knew how to read English. I was more used to Pakistani British kind of English.

Some common words used in American English were unusual for me. Like I heard a child asking another child ''Are you mad?" To me mad meant crazy, so I thought that was disrespectful, but when the other child replied calmly "No, I am not.'' I realized that the word "mad "meant something else. I found out later it meant angry.

After a few weeks, I started feeling home sick. I just wanted to go back and see my mom and siblings. I called them everyday and our telephone bill was huge. My husband understood my feelings but was not happy with the huge bill. Not visiting my family for so long was hard. I started feeling loneliness. In Pakistan I had more of a social life. It took me almost two years to get used to living in America. Now ten years later I am quite comfortable living here. I learned English language quite a bit. Now I can communicate easily.

About Us

Guloona
I am a Pakistani immigrant and I came to America in 1995.
I have three kids, and am a housewife.
I hope I will learn something that beneficial for me and my family's life. (inshallah)


Baran
My name is Baran. I am from Pakistan. I am a mother of 4. I have been living in Skokie, Illinois for past ten years.

Osmanthus
I'm a stay home mom from Hong Kong. I've been in U.S.A. for more than ten years. I have two boys. Other than take care of my family, I like to do cross stitch in my spare time.

Elena
My name is Elena. I am from Russia, from Saint-Petersburg. I am living in USA for 3 months. I am living in Skokie. I am not working now. Now I am studying English. I have 3 kids: my youngest daughters are 12 and 6. They are studying in the school in Skokie. My oldest daughter is 20. She is studying in St.-Petersburg in university.

Vinou
I am a Haitian women I have been in america for 5 years. I have a daugther . Before l lived at Philadelphia now I am in Chicago for 1 year.